This week's post-handoff interrogation was off to a rocky start. 🔦
"Those shoes Mommy was wearing — they looked new. Did you go shopping with her last weekend? Do you remember the price?"
OR
"And after Daddy's 'girlfriend' fed you dinner, what happened next…"
There's a name for this: using your children as informants. Kids feel the weight of these questions. They understand, on some level, that they're being asked to report. To choose sides. To be little spies in the house they just came from.
Kids should come home and just be home. Not debriefed.
If you find yourself asking what's happening at the other house — pause. That's fear or anger doing the talking.
This week's post-handoff interrogation was off to a rocky start. 🔦
"Those shoes Daddy was wearing — they looked new. Did you go shopping with him last weekend? Do you remember the price?"
OR
"And after Mommy's 'boyfriend' fed you dinner, what happened next…"
There's a name for this: using your children as informants. Kids feel the weight of these questions. They understand, on some level, that they're being asked to report. To choose sides. To be little spies in the house they just came from.
Kids should come home and just be home. Not debriefed.
If you find yourself asking what's happening at the other house — pause. That's fear or anger doing the talking.