"I insist our children only eat organic. No dyes. No sugar. No processed snacks. In. Either. Home."

Meanwhile, the children:

"Daddy lets us have Red Bull if it's the blue kind." "And he says Flamin' Hot is basically a vegetable."

Judge: *noted.* 🌶️

The gap between what gets said in court and what happens at home is vast. The organic standards presented to the judge don't always survive contact with a gas station road trip.

Not throwing stones. Just saying — the kids are always going to tell the truth eventually.

Has your kid ever accidentally contradicted something you said in court? 😬